Makeup Fail
So, in recent news, studies find that your average Man is not comfortable with what is 'trendy' in Venusian makeup fashions, according to Yahoo! news. What a surprise. I mean to say, some of this stuff is just bizarre. Allow me to express my own comments on the following Ins.
First off, heavy foundation. Okay, I may be from Mars, but I can still tell when that's not her actual skin I'm looking at. And frankly, that's slightly disturbing. A little foundation, to tone down freckles or zits, is fine as needs must. But when Venusians slather the stuff on, in multiple tones no less, it makes me wonder just what they're hiding under there. The mind boggles. An awkward birthmark? Leprosy? Alien Fungus? Seriously, it can be creepy. Martians may be pretty clueless, but our imaginations can run gleefully amuck if left to their own devices.
Second off, heavy eye makeup. Now don't get me wrong, I know Venusians who wear mascara and liner heavily and make it look good, but that's their signature look. However, just because some can do it doesn't mean everyone should do it. On the contrary, they should be the exeptions, not the rule. For most Venusians, the less makeup they wear the better. Again, it makes us Martians wonder... why? Why load your eyes with all that crap? If you sweat, does it run down? Just how long did you spend on that, anyway? What do you really look like under all that? Are those even your eyes, or are they plastic covers for Petrifying Orbs?
Two-tone lipstick is another source of confusion for us. At first glance, it appears that a) you made out with some Martian and rubbed most of it off or b) that you ate something and licked your lips the whole time. Either way, it's weird. Distracting, too. I don't see that and think, 'Wow, she's got some beautiful lips', I think 'Whoa, is she a sloppy eater or did she just come from a date?'. Either way, not good.
Really, in retrospect, I can sum the makeup world in two words: Venusian Warpaint. On their Native World, Venusians gird themselves for battle by putting on heaps of complicated stuff in an effort to dismay the Enemy. Here, it's the same thing. Mars has no such custom. We train ourselves to ignore the warpaint and concentrate on the face beneath. If we can't see it, we're frightened. Is that even a Venusian, we wonder. Why is she trying to distract me with her facial decor? What does she really want? While we appreciate a little effort, we are easily intimidated by excessive force.
So, to all the Beautiful Venusians out there, let me leave you with this. Less is more. Use just enough to bring out features your face already has. Trust me on this one.